if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
