I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
