In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
