This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
