So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
