if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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