no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
