I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
