my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
So much rum. So many feels.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
