She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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