Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize