yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
