Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize