id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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