i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
