Christians are straight up FREAKS
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
