but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
