I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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