Why are handjobs necessary in class?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Randomize
