You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
