DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
