I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Girls should come with a carfax report
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
