I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
