Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
