bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
