I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
