I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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