i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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