And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
tonight lets celebrate not being married
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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