wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
