But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
