I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
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she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
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I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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