So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
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