i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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