I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
