I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
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