I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
try to milk me bitch
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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