So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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