Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
