Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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