hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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