I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Randomize
