Me. At least after what I've been through.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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