She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
