if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
