Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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