ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
