So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
