Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
