if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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