So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
