Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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