My girlfriend figured out who you are.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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