Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
