Whod you bang
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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