Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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