Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
