I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
