the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
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