oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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