I looked at my own cervix.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
