The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
