That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
so let's talk penis.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
